


daydreams & realities

by pleasant_surprise



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Secret Crush, best friend crush, but it had to be done, i'm so sorry i did this to y'all, i'm writing something about that, so here it is, the second i saw fara-arts awesome sketch i was like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 19:05:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11904237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasant_surprise/pseuds/pleasant_surprise
Summary: Yuri Plisetsky is, quite possibly, stuck in a daydream. Or he may as well be, since that's all he seems to be doing lately. Imagining how he's going to tell his best friend that he's in love with him. How their hands will fit perfectly together, like they were made for each other. How his first kiss won't be awkward and sloppy, but gentle and sweet. Yuri Plisetsky can't stop daydreaming about Otabek.But the reality is, that's all they are. Daydreams, not realities.





	daydreams & realities

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of working on AP stuff and college apps because I NEED A BREAK OMG and I saw @fara-arts (she's on tumblr, highly recommend you follow her) lovely sketch of Yuri Plisetsky looking absolutely heartbroken and I said, "Scout, let's wreck a few people's days with some wonderful angst." So I did it. Enjoy kids.

Yuri has played the scenario out in his head probably seven million, nine hundred thousand, five hundred thirty six times. Or something like that. A lot. It’s happened a lot. Different every time, but it always has the same throughline.

He tells Otabek they need to talk. They talk. Yuri confesses his major crush on his best friend. Otabek reveals the feeling is mutual. They live happily ever after.

As usual, he begins to daydream while practicing his routine. He begins wondering if the noise he heard was his phone going off, then it turns into wondering if this hypothetical notification was from Otabek, and then into running through possible conversations with Otabek, until he begins daydreaming about how perfect his first kiss will be, Otabek’s brown eyes soft as he holds Yuri’s cheek, his heart beating fast, his head spinning-- when he flubs a jump and lays on the ice, a frazzled, sprawled mess. Yakov’s incessant barking snaps him out of it, and Yuri quickly pulls himself up, rushing to finish the current session so he can hurry home and continue his conversation with Otabek.

“Something’s got Yuri in a fit!” Milla giggles, skating past him as he brushes ice chips off of himself. Yuri ignores her, and glides off to resume his routine.

“Wow, he didn’t even respond! Victor, did you hear that? Not even a, ‘Shut up, baba!’ I’m worried!” she shouts across the rink, her lips pursed and eyes wide. Yuri grunts, ignoring the idiots that surround him.

“Maybe you could take a lesson from him, Milla! He’s actually practicing his routine,” Yakov grimaces. Milla bristles at that, and quickly takes off, resuming her work. The next half hour goes by painfully slowly, but as soon as Yakov notifies Yuri that his time is done, he’s quick to pack up. He heads for the door, but Yakov catches his shoulder before he can dash out of the building.

“Eh?” Yuri responds to the hand on his arm.

“Milla’s right, boy. What’s gotten into you? The Grand Prix Final is in the next two weeks, and you seem to be somewhere else. You’ve had a great season, and you could win gold again, but you refuse to focus,” Yakov explains. Yuri shrugs his arm off.

“I’m fine. I’ll get gold. Milla is the one you need to worry about,” Yuri rolls his eyes. Yakov studies him for a minute.

“Alright. But if I notice you drifting, I’ll make you run the routine an extra three times, each time.”

“Fine, fine. Whatever.”

“Goodnight Yuri.”

“‘Night.”

* * *

**dj_altin:** Hey, what’s up??

**icetiger:** not much… just got back from practice. hbu?

**dj_altin:** Just texting you before I go to bed. Wanted to know how my best friend’s day was :)

**icetiger:** aww

**icetiger:** pretty boring, tbh

**icetiger:** would’ve had more fun with you here :’(

**_dj_altin is typing…_ **

Since when was talking to Otabek this nerve-wracking? The past few years it had been so easy, but all of a sudden, Yuri was second guessing every sentence he wrote. The only conclusion he could come to was that having a crush was quite possibly the worst thing ever. Yuri’s paranoia was interrupted by his phone’s quiet  _ ding _ .

**dj_altin:** Same. But hey, GPF is just around the corner!! We can talk then!

Oh God. A sudden wave of realization came over Yuri. He would see Otabek then. When was the last time they had  _ actually  _ hung out together? At least six months. Had they both really been that busy? Had things really changed that much for Yuri? In any case, Yuri couldn’t just avoid Otabek then… or his feelings. And, Yuri had been plotting out how to tell Otabek how he felt for an obscenely long time. So, what better timing?

**icetiger:** actually, i wanted to talk to you about smth

**_dj_altin is typing…_ **

Yuri’s heart was pounding. He fidgeted at his table, twisting strands of his hair, waiting for Otabek to respond.

**dj_altin:** Is everything okay, Yura?

**icetiger:** yea, i just… idk, it’s kind of a big thing

**icetiger:** it like, involves our friendship

**icetiger:** and stuff

**icetiger:** but uh...

**dj_altin:** You know, if it’s that important, I think it might be better to talk in person.

**dj_altin:** I didn’t realize there was something bothering you this much.

**dj_altin:** You can still tell me on here if it’s that important.

Yuri was torn. It was that important. To him. He was bursting at the seams. He felt like Potya could hear his heartbeat from his perch on the end of the bed. He felt feverish. He felt delirious. He felt hopelessly in love with his best friend. He felt his fingers itching to type out those words that needed to be said.

But in reality, he just responded with a “no, you’re right. thanks beka. talk to you tomorrow. goodnight.”

* * *

The last two weeks had gone by unbearably slowly. Yuri couldn’t tell if it was his anxiety, his eagerness to reunite with Otabek, or the fact that Yakov had stayed true to his promise to make Yuri do his routines and extra three times each time he caught him daydreaming, but he was ready for the Grand Prix Final to be over. And he had just arrived in Vancouver for the entire championship.

Whatever. All that mattered was that he was going to get gold, Otabek would be on the podium with him, and that they would finally see each other again soon. And Yuri would finally be able to tell him what he had been dying to say. If he didn’t die from nervousness first.

“Yura!” a familiar voice rang throughout the hotel lobby. Otabek smothered Yuri in a hug, and Yuri instantly felt his face warm.

“Your cheeks are all pink. Did you just get in?” Otabek’s brows furrowed as he studied Yuri’s face. Yuri could feel himself melting.

“Yuri?”   


“Wh-what? Oh, yeah, I had to walk a bit outside to get here. Stupid cab driver didn’t know where to drop me off,” Yuri quickly covered. Luckily, his response made sense, given the freezing wind and snow outside.

“Well, here, let me help you take your stuff up. We’re on the same floor, right?”

“Oh, yeah!”

They crammed into the elevator. Otabek wasn’t the greatest conversationalist, and neither was Yuri. Being incredibly jet-lagged didn’t help the situation either. The ride up was mostly silent, and the only thing heard in the hallway once they arrived was the sound of suitcases rolling down the carpet. Otabek opened the door for Yuri, and wished him goodnight as he went to his own room. Not that Yuri was expecting the big moment to be then. The time would come.

But, as the week went on, it seemed harder and harder to get a moment alone with Otabek. Yuri himself was busy, practicing, and performing for judges. Of course he and Otabek cheered each other on, but they had no time to see one another, other than that. Yuri decided that he would just have to make time. After the free skate component was done, there would be no more stress. Just the exhibition skate. Otabek agreed. Perfect.

“Next on the ice is Russia’s Yuri Plisetsky!” the announcer shouted over the system. He had the same stupid accent as stupid J.J. It made Yuri laugh. He quickly scanned the crowd for Otabek. He found him, standing past the kiss and cry with a few gifts. He had just gotten into first place, but Yuri was about to push him down into second. He smiled cockily at Otabek and jabbed a thumbs up at him. Otabek reciprocated the motion, shouting their special “Davai!” across the ice. Yuri’s music began, and he gracefully skated through the routine. He could tell Yakov and Lilia were proud. He knew he had every aspect the routine down perfectly. Just as he thought, he slid into first place.

Riding on his high, Yuri figured there was no better time to track Otabek down and confess. It was pretty much guaranteed that Yuri and Otabek and first and second, respectively. He quickly found the older boy waiting for him. Otabek pulled Yuri into one of those hugs that Yuri loved so much, and Yuri hugged him back.

“Congratulations, Yura,” Otabek beamed at him. That was the smile that nearly killed Yuri every time he saw it. He only ever smiled like that when they were around each other.

“You too, Beka.”

“Well… I guess there’s no better time than now to talk, eh?” Otabek began again.

Oh. Right.

“Yep,” Yuri sighed. He could do this. He was ready.

“So… what’s been bothering you?”

“Uh, well, you’ve been my closest friend for a while now, Beka. And it’s meant a lot to me. You’ve always been there for me. Whenever you text me, I get excited. I miss you when we don’t get to hang out. I… but… it’s different,” Yuri pauses. Otabek’s face is unreadable. He continues anyway.

“I’ve had to sit down and really think about it, often. But, I know how I feel. And I’ve felt this way for a long time. And I need to tell you. So here it goes. I… I have feelings for you. Like-- like I have a crush on you,” Yuri blushes. It takes a moment for him to calm down. He actually did it. Yuri smiles to himself. Slowly, he looks back up at Otabek. But, it’s not quite what he imagined. Otabek, actually looks… a little uncomfortable.

Oh no.

“Oh… oh. I-- Yuri, I had no idea.”

“Well, that’s okay. I’m glad I finally told you.”

“Um. The thing is… I, uh, I actually… I have a girlfriend already. I thought you knew.”

Yuri’s heart drops.

“We’ve only been together for three months--

Yuri doesn’t care to hear the rest of it. Everything feels and sounds fuzzy. He feels like he just was punched in the stomach. All he wants to do is go home, right now, and hide under his blankets. He wants to go back in time. He wants to undo those months of daydreaming about confessing to Otabek, holding hands with Otabek, kissing Otabek.

“--I’ve just always thought of you as my best friend,” Otabek finishes. Yuri smiles back up at him. It’s the most horrible thing he’s ever felt. The worst smile he’s ever had to plaster on.

“No. I understand,” he whispers. The lump in his throat makes it hard to do anything.

“I’m going to wait for the ceremony to begin. See you on the podium,” he chokes out, voice cracking. He pivots, walking as fast as he can out of the hallway and into the rink. Otabek calls after him, but nothing can stop him. He hides in the back of the crowd of skaters, unnoticed among the crying and laughing and shouting and music. The ceremony begins soon enough, and the Russian national anthem blares throughout the building. It buzzes through Yuri. He stands on the podium, willing himself not to break there. Anyone watching would just disregard it as Yuri being proud and overwhelmed. But Otabek would know. Otabek, standing on his right, just below him, glancing up at Yuri every few seconds. As soon as it ends, Yuri wastes no time dodging everyone who comes up to him, from other skaters to sports journalists. Yuri changes and quickly shoves his things into a duffel bag, nearly sprinting for the exit. He nearly makes it there uninterrupted, but once again, it’s just him and Otabek, alone.

“Yuri, I--”

Yuri wants to turn around right then and run into Otabek’s arms. He wants to get his first kiss from the boy he’s hopelessly fallen for. He wants his daydreams to come true.

But in reality, he just hugs his jacket closer and runs out the doors, tears stinging his eyes.

* * *

Months pass. Yuri pours his all into his skating. He’s never been this focused, Yakov and Lilia agree. Milla tries to joke with Yuri, but it’s not worth attempting. Yuri doesn’t even comment on Yuuri and Victor anymore. His rinkmates are worried for him, but he constantly rejects them as usual. And in the end, Yuri knows this will pass, just as all disappointments do.

**_(12/17)_ **

**dj_altin:** Yuri

**_(12/18)_ **

**dj_altin:** Yuri, please talk to me.

**dj_altin:** I just want to talk to you.

**_(12/20)_ **

**dj_altin:** Please, can we still be friends.

**dj_altin:** Yura, I still want to be friends.

**_(12/21)_ **

**dj_altin:** Alright. I get it. I know it’s going to be awkward after something like this.

**dj_altin:** But please don’t ignore me. I don’t want our friendship to end.

**dj_altin:** Something as silly as this isn’t important. 

**dj_altin:** That’s not what I meant. Your feelings are important. But so are mine.

**dj_altin:** Whatever. Seems like you’re just going to keep ignoring me.

**dj_altin:** I’ll still be here for you whenever you need me, Yura.

Sometimes Yuri looked through these messages, trying to summon the courage to respond again. How many months had it been now? Three? Otabek was a great friend. A perfect friend. Just what Yuri needed.

Not what he wanted.

Sometimes, Yuri imagined that he sent a text back. Or that he called. Sometimes it was an angry message, sometimes it was Yuri begging Otabek to just  _ consider  _ a relationship, sometimes it was him crying into the phone, asking his best friend to forgive him for ignoring him and being so selfish.

But in reality, he deleted Otabek’s contact.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me about this on tumblr @mediocre-anime-fangirl


End file.
